By Jelelle Awen
The masculine wants to be needed.
The feminine needs to be wanted.
This is a sacred journey of polarities that sometimes is a crash and sometimes is a dance. Sometimes is a bliss and sometimes is a mess.
Neither is wrong in what seems to be this common core, underlying desire nor in the wounding that results in the human experience of it not getting met consistently.
As the masculine encounters being criticized, being judged, being tugged on, being controlled, being put demands by the ‘feminine’ (which is really more of a wounded masculine energy inside a feminine), then he retracts or he fights. He ghosts or he defends himself.
He is swimming in inadequacy if he doesn’t feel that he is meeting her needs….or especially if he feels like he has failed her in some way. He becomes often unable to speak this, to share these feelings with her….as if in speaking it, he is offering the most terrible confession.
As the feminine experiences being rejected, being unclaimed, a push-pull of desire for her by the masculine, she then attacks and blames with her inner masculine coming out to fight….or she crumples into core unworthiness and feeling so hurt that she is fused to the young child, the inner teenager within her. She is drowning in this hurt yet often can’t bring this vulnerably and in a way that can be felt by him.
This dynamic is not just from this life, yet produced from the original source wound of our separation from the Divine. And, downstream from that, separation from the counterpart pairbond that exists in our soul family monad of our other half holding the opposite polarity of masculine or feminine.
Variations of reactivity from when this core wounding gets triggered by each other play out in SO many ways. Yet, at the heart of it is a feminine who has felt rejected by her masculine and is still reeling from it. And at the heart of the masculine who has both been birthed by the feminine and yet also feels how with this capacity he doubts if she could ever really need him in any way.
As we feel this dynamic within us….from an Inner Masculine with our Inner Feminine, we are healing this polarity from within FIRST and primarily. We experience huge heart chakra expansion as these parts of us come into union. She forgives him for what feels like rejection even as she starts really getting how his protection of her has been his form of claiming. How he has always wanted her, just has felt inadequate to her.
And he forgives her as he feels that she has always needed him, yet doesn’t want to be suppressed by him or protected so much that she can’t be free, experience life, dare to get hurt, dare to risk and dare to dream. She DOES need him and he is worthy to show up for this.
And the Divine Father and Mother aspects show up to support each in the experience of receiving infinite love, infinite worthiness, infinite claiming by the Divine. The empty cups that lead to lashing out, defending and protecting become filled by this Divine love. And the feminine becomes more of a reflection and an embodiment of this Divine Mother energy in her unique expression. And the masculine becomes a reflection and embodiment of Divine Father energy.
As this sacred union happens within, so you can experience this on the outside with a mate who holds the other side of this polarity for you. You can be with the parts of you, both masculine and feminine, who get triggered by the deepening intimacy, the deepening mirror, the deepening challenge that if offered by TRUE sacred union when all grounds of relational transaction are coming together.
This download came in a little while ago, especially during our sacred union group call series and from realizations stemming from my relationship with Raphael as well and the phases of brief separation that opened out into more union and deeper understanding of each other.
Feels like this also speaks to a collective unveiling that is happening in the masculine/feminine dynamic in relationships and within…getting to the core of the separation wound created from the experience of polarity between us in which also so much desire for reunion also exists.
Compassion for each other can arise in this space and also forgiveness for self and other.
Inner first, then outer approach allows the horizontal ground between the partners to be more clear and have more space.
In this space, resonance can move, desire can move, attraction can move, and most importantly, love can move.
Here is an inner sacred union meditation with Raphael and me, Jelelle:
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